Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Review of dc injury lawyer::Who Is Harvey Dent - What's Your Question?







Review of dc injury lawyer::Who Is Harvey Dent - What's Your Question?








               Bullet               to               the               Head               (***               /               ****)               
               Starring:               Sylvester               Stallone,               Sung               Kang,               Jason               Momoa,               Christian               Slater               
               Director:               Walter               Hill
               One               character               is               shot               in               the               shoulder               by               killers               who've               just               taken               out               his               partner.

He               gets               the               slug               removed               by               someone               who               isn't               even               a               doctor,               who               also               (likely               very               crudely)               stitches               him               up.

Said               character               is               fine               until               the               ending,               in               which               he               gets               hit               again               in               almost               the               exact               same               spot.

Thanks               to               the               magic               of               movie               time-lapse               (in               this               case,               six               weeks)               he's               up               and               running               again               after               a               whopping               thirty               days               of               rehab.

Not               once               is               he               in               any               danger               of               bleeding               to               death               or               suffering               any               permanent               damage.
               This               is               the               kind               of               logic               you're               expected               to               wash               down               with               a               big               old               glass               of               disbelief               suspension               if               you               expect               to               get               any               enjoyment               out               of               Bullet               in               the               Head.

And               you               know               what?

I               had               a               good               time               and               I'm               not               ashamed               to               admit               it.

Last               time               I               checked,               movies               are               still               allowed               to               be               nothing               but               dumb               fun               once               in               awhile.
               Bullet               never               pretends               to               be               anything               other               than               a               violent               and               plot-free               escapist               romp,               but               when               a               66-year-old               Sylvester               Stallone               is               taking               top               billing,               director               Walter               Hill               really               had               no               other               option.

(You               have               to               reach               way               back               to               1997               to               find               Stallone's               last               remotely               cerebral               flick,               the               still-terrific               Cop               Land.)               Stallone               is               still               ripped               as               heck,               with               a               pipeline               of               garden               hose-sized               veins               snaking               all               over               his               arms,               while               simultaneously               looking               as               if               he               went               through               a               tannery,               and               he               has               a               nice               collection               of               gaudy               tattoos               on               his               shoulders               and               chest               that               look               like               they               were               applied               with               crayons.

Stallone               makes               Bonomo's               often-corny               dialogue               sound               badass               with               that               slurred               growl               of               his,               but               unfortunately               more               often               than               not               he               sounds               like               Charlie               Brown's               muted-trumpet               schoolteachers               from               those               old               Peanuts               cartoons.

Basically,               he's               Cocoon               meets               Commando               in               one               package.
               He               plays               Jimmy               Bonomo,               a               grizzled               New               Orleans               hitman               (the               picture               was               filmed               in               Louisiana)               who               is               seeking               revenge               on               the               men               who               knifed               his               partner               (Jon               Seda)               to               death               following               a               job               that               went               sour.

He               winds               up               teaming               with               a               clean-cut               Washington               DC               detective,               Taylor               Kwon               (Sung               Kang),               whose               partner               was               also               brutally               murdered.

They               soon               discover               that               the               same               group               of               thugs               were               behind               both               killings,               and               oh-so-reluctantly               team               up               to               hunt               them               down.

That's               pretty               much               it.
               Based               on               a               French               graphic               novel,               Bullet               is               a               throwback               to               those               shameless               old-school               action               flicks               of               the               mid-1980s,               a               time               where               you               could               still               buy               realistic-looking               water               guns               at               Toys               'R               Us.

Guys               get               shot               in               the               face               left               and               right.

Heck,               they               get               shot               everywhere,               period;               the               amount               of               fake               blood               that               Hill               soaks               just               about               every               frame               with               probably               ate               up               a               good               chunk               of               the               budget               alone.

A               crooked               attorney               (Christian               Slater)               is               livin'               large               in               a               spacious               mansion.

The               female               role               -               Jimmy's               daughter               Lisa,               played               by               Sarah               Shahi               -               is               a               predictably               thankless               plot               device.

The               villain,               Keegan               (Jason               Momoa),               is               genuinely               scary               and               anyone               who               comes               in               contact               with               him               one               way               or               another               usually               winds               up               dead.

(Keegan's               boss,               played               by               the               always-cool               Adewale               Akinnuoye-Agbaje,               is               articulate,               crippled               and               sharply               dressed,               reminiscent               of               Patrick               Stewart               in               the               overlooked               1993               actioner               Gunmen.)               There's               a               nice               big               explosion               thrown               in               simply               for               the               sake               of               having               one,               and               the               final               showdown               takes               place               inside               an               abandoned               warehouse.
               The               picture               isn't               very               long               at               just               over               an               hour               and               a               half,               and               it's               extremely               rushed,               leaving               zero               room               for               any               sort               of               characterization.

The               script               requires               Slater,               as               lawyer               Marcus               Baptiste,               to               unload               a               huge               amount               of               exposition               at               machine-gun               speed               when               he's               held               captive               by               Bonomo,               rather               than               the               two               leads               actually               working               to               piece               the               mystery               together               by               themselves.

Plus,               chances               are               that               the               aforementioned               shoulder               injury               would've               taken               place               at               an               actual               hospital               instead               of               requiring               Lisa               to               be               a               tattoo               artist               who's               somehow               experienced               in               bullet               extraction               for               reasons               unexplained.

She               also               lives               alone               in               a               house,               not               an               apartment,               but               an               actual               house,               which               I               doubt               is               possible               on               a               tattooist's               salary               alone,               even               when               it's               revealed               that               Jimmy               supports               her               on               the               side,               but               it's               not               as               if               hitmen               collect               steady               paychecks               either.

She's               inevitably               taken               hostage               and               has               to               be               rescued               by               Jimmy,               in               case               we               forget               why               her               presence               in               the               movie               is               required               in               the               first               place.
               Kang's               Taylor               doesn't               fare               much               better.

He's               constantly               attached               to               his               Blackberry               that               it               teeters               dangerously               on               the               precipice               of               blatant               product               placement,               but               then               again               it's               probably               to               remind               the               audience               that               this               is               2013               and               not               1986.

Most               of               Taylor's               detective               work               consists               of               him               regularly               performing               "speed               checks"               on               his               phone               that               conveniently               give               a               load               of               information               on               whatever               suspects               he               and               Bonomo               are               chasing.

Kang               and               Stallone               don't               have               much               chemistry,               either,               as               their               attempt               to               copy               the               unfunny               Rush               Hour-style               banter               fails               miserably,               and               therefore               any               allegedly               amusing               one-liners               they               throw               at               each               other               have               all               the               enthusiasm               of               a               weather               report.

Slater               and               his               ever-whiny               voice               are               just               woefully               miscast               as               Baptiste,               period,               but               thankfully               he               doesn't               hang               around               for               very               long.
               The               only               one               who               leaves               a               lasting               impression               is               Momoa,               who               doesn't               have               much               to               do               except               look               menacing               while               increasing               the               body               count,               but               he's               damn               good               at               it.

Tall,               attractive               and               imposing,               to               me               he               actually               resembled               a               younger               version               of               WWE               wrestler               Paul               "Big               Show"               Wight               before               he               went               south               physically.

(Oh,               the               things               you               think               of               when               you               let               your               mind               wander               in               a               dark               theater.)               Keegan               also               features               in               a               surprisingly               exciting               axe               battle               with               Bonomo,               which               results               in               the               film's               only               genuine               laugh-out-loud               line               when               Stallone               drawls,               "What               are               we,               Vikings?"               Momoa               may               have               failed               miserably               in               ascending               the               action-star               echelon               with               2011's               misbegotten               Conan               the               Barbarian,               but               after               Bullet,               don't               be               surprised               if               he               at               least               books               himself               a               spot               in               the               inevitable               third               Expendables               go-round.
               ©               2013               Jane               F.

Carlson






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